The Truth Hurts

I had a incident happened to me tonight that really made me question myself. I know I love myself and I'm damn proud of how far I've come but this was really tuff to deal with tonight. I was tweeting on twitter as I do every night then this guy I like and was converstating with over the phone started tweeting. We hung out a few times but something changed with us. Although I never asked him what happened to our friendship I was always curious about what went wrong because I really was happy with the person I was getting to know. But I never said anything else about it I just stop trying to reach out to him because he stopped reaching out to me. But every now and then we would make small talk over different social sites but never again did he ask me to come hangout with him but I was ok with the friendly gestures he gave me when we did see each other out in public. So tonight as I was doing my tweeting on twitter he jumped on there and I mistaked one of his tweets as if he was talking to me and the whole time it was directed to another female follower on twitter. I know my readers are saying well why do you feel some kind of way about that so this is why he ended up retweeting something she tweeted and that made me realize his tweets was directed towards her. So me being nosey I go see how she look and read some of her tweets and then I run across a tweet where she's implying to the question I tweeted while he's tweeting in regards to her agreeing to her statement around the same time I was tweeting "is he talking to me" because he said I'm about to text her and I thought he was referring that tweet to me. So yes I feel like the joke was on me honestly I really wanted him to be texting me so yes it hurt my feelings because I didn't deserve that inside joke they were having about me. I've been more then genuine to him I never been the type to judge another women but me honestly speaking for what I see she is a "basic". I know that might sound so mean and little bit like I'm hating but I'm not I have to be honest. But the crazy thing about this is she made me feel like the ugliest girl in the world. I felt so unattractive I just don't get how I always get disappointed and let down how nobody seem to see what I have to offer. How I get over looked and past by like my presence doesn't exsist. This is the kind of situation that makes me have low selfteem. I have so much to offer and the girl with nothing gets the guy that I thought I deserved. I can't win for losing even though I don't base my life just off love when I see it coming my way I do go for it. I've seen a life of happiness besides having love from a man but it's damn sure hard as hell to stay on that path of being content with what I have and what I may never get a chance to experience. The journey of my life is rocky but a promising one so I'm going to keep pushing.