Today I had the pleasure of sitting with a group of well educated and successful young women. Although their very successful and educated they're lonely. Money doesn't seem to be the cure to their happiness. I mean their insecurities were very baffling to me they are very attractive young women with flashy things and a presence that would light up a room. But they can't seem to light up a man's heart. While we sat and talked and discussed their issues I had a chance to see two of the women ex boyfriends which one was with his new girlfriend and I asked one of the girls how does it make her feel to see someone that she was once in love with in public with somebody else. She replied that it doesn't bother her because he's a piece of shit and he had nothing going for hisself to her he was a moocher "opportunist" that she took care of throughout their relationship. So I asked her why did she waste her time with a deadend ass man which she had no future with and her answer was "because I just needed to feel love for that moment I just wanted to feel complete even if it meant buying my love and affection". That shocked me because I too am guilty of wasting time with men that I know I have no future with. I instantly felt connected to these group of women for the first time in my life I figured out they are more young women like me dealing with the same insecurities and flaws of being a young single beautiful young women with a bright future ahead of them but can't seem to accomplish that one thing we want the most LOVE. Usually women like us fall through what I call the "Hopeless Love Story" what I mean by that we are the few young women that's probably going to encounter plenty of heartbreak and let downs in our life and want ever find our Mr. Right and that perfectly imperfect love story. So how do young women like us get though life knowing that it's a good possibility we probably will forever be alone. We don't women like us feed off other ppl problems that's what get us through our dark days we fantasize about relationships that we'll never have that keeps us having hope. We also blame ourselves for being so good to a man which is normal trait of ours but since we get negative results for being a good women we tend to see the negative things in ourselves and always thinking it's us. But I am one that is growing into a more stronger and wiser young women and coming from the lowest part in my life I finally see where I have a sense of new insight on what my future holds with love and the men I choose to be in my world. But my real mission is to get to the root of why a lot of us young women have these issues about themselves and what's the cause of these things one thing I know from my own experiences that this pattern just don't start from having a few bad breakup this is something that stem for home before we jumped off the porch and into the world of dating, love, and sex.
Awesome blog. I think you are absolutely right. The first image of love, self esteem. self worth stems from home. Although we all have different upbringings, the perception of how we should be treated stems psychologically from what we witnessed as children. As women, we have to recondition our minds. From my standpoint, as a young single mother and minister of the gospel; I believe this change comes the realization of who you are in God's eyes. That is the standard, the ultimate guide and the basis of your identity
ReplyDeleteI think more black women should consider dating outside their race! We settle for these brothers who are not worth our time and hold on them for fear of never finding true love. Whelp I for one am tired of it. I believe that a good comes in many shapes, sizes and COLOR. We need to get over chasing after these brothers. I mean there are some good ones out there BUT we shouldn't just limit ourselves to dating them. Sisters be more open to finding love in other races. Love is blind. Also, KNOW YOUR WORTH! We are Queens and should be treated as such. No negotiations on this matter. Great post cuzzo. Keep them coming!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog cuzzo it's definitely hard being a successful women and not having someone to share it with. I agree with Dana we should look outside the box is 2014 race doesn't really mean anything different now. I would just tell those women to keep the heads up because God sits high but looks low.
ReplyDelete... O.K..... the woman here sound very serious... Ill try to be brief. (watch this)...lol
ReplyDeleteuhm.. Queens = yes you are; GOD's eyes... he is watching you ... A quote....
...If the black woman knew who she WAS; then the black man would know who he IS... Black Woman .. we need you; we need so much from you.. man should not need your money. I do not think a man from another culture could give to you what you need. He doesn't know how, he can't know how to love you. He knows nothing about you. Yes, it is 2014... and we still- even now more than ever- need you.
...P.S... If you are GODLY woman... where is the forgiveness...forgiveness brings about peace.... See some of us are still around... If GOD sits high but looks low... why do you overlook I ????