Jealously

Always remember not everyone is going to be in your corner. As I'm growing into the women I want to be I'm noticing how it's starting to effect some of the people around me. I have a lot of nonbelievers, doubters, and people who's praying for my downfall. I'm becoming so immune to people around me secretly hating that I'm not even surprised anymore. Although it still sucks and hurts to know that the same people you're willing to share your world with doesn't really want you to live it I'm strong enough now to cut off the dead weight. I no longer care if I have friends or others approval I'm unbothered by the fact I might not have the same friends to share my future success with. All I need is my family rite now my real supporters my rock my shoulder when I need someone to lean on my cloth when I need my tears wiped. My world is changing for the better and I'm thankful for the blessing. I guess this is my test god is showing me what's best I want ever be afraid to test the waters and push myself to the limits. This is what sets me apart from the rest I dare to be different and refuse to be a copy my whole life I've been told what I could and couldn't do now that I'm doing whatever I set my mind to I realize the sky is the limit I'm determined to push through these hard obstacles. Remember basic beings only recognize basic things. Not everyone is going to understand your drive but your life is not for everyone to understand because it's your life. I'm living with no regrets I'm living and learning as I go. I couldn't be in a more happier place. Thanks to you the ones who roll your eyes when I talk about my accomplishments the one who smacks your lip when I tell my testimony and the one who doubt my next power moves and the ones who's letting your envy for me take over I really appreciate it you give that extra pep that I need. I'm on the road to success let me show you how it's possible. Muah!

TRYING TO STAY HUMBLE

As I feel myself slowly drifting away from my humble being I'm trying to stay grounded. My upbringing wasn't me living in nice house driving nice cars going to nice restaurants and traveling all over the world. I didn't have the best of clothes and the cutest face I was the ugly duckling with the big feet and the short hair with the big teeth. I never got a chance to date the hottest boy in my class or the most poplar boy in school. I always had the leftovers the nobodies "Wannabes" the guy who had the same problems as me so we kind of settle for each other in a sense. I use to hope I had a date to a dance or to just be invited to one I always just wanted to be accepted. I was told that I would never amount to nothing but just a hoodrat. But I proved them wrong after went through a real life changing experience at 21yrs of age my whole outlook has changed on life. I pulled myself together gave my life to god a girl who once hated going to church was there front row praising him for opening my eyes to what I was blind to seeing for along time. I got a change to network and meet some elite people in Monroe La, landed a great job being a mortgage banker and was able to provide greatly for my kids and family. Although I stayed humble for a while and always thankful I started to get comfortable. I stop recognizing my blessings and started acting like this was owed to me I stop putting in the work that got me where I am now. I feel myself getting big headed and very vague I wanted this so bad to be able to just be somebody and now that I am I'm turning out to be the same person I didn't like in high school and college. Money changes us rather it's for the good or bad although I'm not rich and not where I wanna to be yet but I am in a great place financially. I'm just trying to get it back mentally. Since I started going backwards my bad luck is coming back I'm starting to lose things physically and I can't seem to pull it back together. I hate that I judge people that I was once like and started looking down on the ones who started with me. I feel horrible that I let myself get to that point. I'm recognizing my wrongs and trying to make them right I would love to be forgiven by those I hurt along the way because I didn't mean to make them feel that wasn't in my caliber and wasn't good enough to eat at my table. From this day forward I won't let my success ruin my relationships with my friends or family. I want to share my most greatest moments with them the people who has my back and love me the most.